The Elk, The Frog, and the Cub

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[Jul. 30th, 2005|11:31 pm]

[

How I'm feelin

I feel great. . .

]

~~~~I was in this whirlwind of colors but like a tornado I was only standing in the eye. I could see out the top and it was night time. I was not near home though because the sky was filled with stars. There are way to many lights around here to see that many stars. The truly important things in life are clear and it was certain that at that very moment what I needed to do was just as obvious. I wanted to know if this was an experience only known in dreams or this was actually happening.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~....~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`..................~~~~~~.......................
It was a dream, but I woke up with somthing I didn't have for a while. Today. . well yesterday. I just felt better. I said what I waited to say, and said what first came to mind. Where have I been and what have I been doing? Floating in some boat I built out of trees and giant leaves, and vines. Sailing somwhere, forming a plan for somthing. I don't necissarily care about getting home but I know it's around there so it is convinient. I was looking for somthing, off in the distance and even though I can't see it that clearly I know it's everything in and out of life I am looking for.

I finally found a memory I will have always had and kept after I die and explore the entire universe........................................................

.................It was green, and suited it very wearer, then it hit me and I was rushed over, I have been dancing ever since.................

.. and underneath, I trembled inside, then hesitated, took time for granted, now I'm behind but I've been here longer, I have got to get back, or I'll be searching the universe for somthing I have never seen, not somthing I once saw.

Good night everyone

So we danced, then she told me, and I fled. Now we're lost...

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[Jul. 19th, 2005|12:17 am]

[	How I'm feelin	\|	happy	]
[	Tunskies	\|	Kingdom Of Heaven Soundtrack	]

It just all comes in one full blown proportion. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . If you continue to read this entry, you may be insulted, or even aggrivated that I vented so long on this thing. But you chose to read it, so suit yourself. I just couldn't get to sleep.

If we just came to terms with ourselves, I think reasoning would make much more sense in every situation. Getting caught up in everything that is not truly important causes distortion. That seems to be when traits that just don't suit ourselves form, and they always stick around cause it's false truth we put in the picture of our own image = So it's not our own image, it is garbage we want everyone to believe, even ourselves. The arrogance that forms from A's in school, the clothes we wear, and especially the money is rediculas. No one is all around smarter than anyone else because everyone has knowledge on everything to a certain extent. More than some and less than some on everything. Most of the people I know haven't grown up even a little bit. I obviously still have growing to do with the temper I have, but at least I keep what is truly important as my priorities. Rejection is a total joke, unless someone is a total ass what's the fucking point of totaly rejecting somone? We all dislike and like different people, and so we don't like to see some people very much. But don't show them disrespect.

Ever in the situation where you are walking down the street and someone walking the opposite direction as you, coming toward you is on the same sidewalk. Naturally being freindly you say hello, and they just give you a weird or dirty look and walk past you. What the fuck I say? Who the hell do some people think they are? Why are the kids that grow up now so damn spoiled? They have their parents do everything for them and pay for everything. It's rediclas, what kind of parenting is buying your child everything they kick and scream for? Discepline (sp?) your children!!! Cause If I get disrespect from them I am going to ignore them. Which in most cases is torture to them cause they need that attention, they want everyone looking at them. If ignoring them just makes it worse, I might tell them to calm down, if it gets worse, I'll tell them they're hopeless, after that I am punching, slaping, backhanding, throwing, or just plain beating the shit out of that person. This fat guy in a van today was just blaring his horn at an old woman at a red light. . . WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LAYING ON THE HORN AT A RED FUCKING LIGHT!? I let the lady through so she could get through the light before it turned green, then red again. (You all know how that damn light on frazo is. . it's a pain in the ass). What. . . was this guys problem. . he was just some slob having a bad day (or is just a bad person) and THINKS the reason his day is going back because of some old woman at a red stop light. I looked at bert as if saying "Ok i am getting out of the car" but bert took care of it, leaned out the window of my car and i tell you - SCREAMED "FUCK OFF SHIT HEAD!" It made my day, but I was still upset for the old woman, SHE'S OLD, cut her some slack if she is doing somthing wrong, but when she ISN'T doing anything wrong. DON'T FUCK WITH HER.

The world needs vigilanties (sp?) BAD. And those of you who say, "I am not getting caught up in all that." or "Not my problem." FUCK YOU, you self centered fucks. Anyways back on track - These spoiled rotten kids are destroying each other. Everyone thinks wearing "punk" makes you unique. Ok for all you "punk" kids who do wear all the chain pants and other assorted clothing from hot topic JUST because you say you're unique. . . YOU ARE NOT UNIQUE unless you ACTUALLY enjoy wearing clothes that you trip on. You are the same as the jocks and super tan, blond highlight dumbasses with Hollister, American Eagle, Abercrombie and Fitch, Aeropastale clothes all over their body and they don't even really like them. If you actually like those clothes I totally support you. (seriosuly I do) But for all of you who only wear them cause everyone else does. For all of you who are to fucking pampered to buy clothes from K-Mart or Meijers cause you think you are too good. I feel sorry for you cause you're ignorant and weak. What. . . is so damn important about a TINY insignificant label on your shirt, pants, hat, shoes, socks, underwear, whatever? They ARE CLOTHES! Clothes!

All the girls that have sex when they are to damn young, stupid, or have clearly not spent enough time with someone so that some fuck who doesn't care about you will hang around you. You are sick, grow up. I know. .. ONE GIRL who has not done this, ONE out of how many? (I am totally serious one.) Do you have any idea what kind of people there are out there that would run miles just to be around you for one movie? one hour? a half hour? Yea there are people out there like that, who truly care about you, and even if you never came around to love them like they love you, they still offer their friendship and care. Just wait. .. wait until you are sure. And for the guys who take advantage of those girls you will pay for it at one point or another. You just will.

Wait. . .no no wait does this tie into. . . what's that evil thing that was created. . .oh yea MONEY. Don't get me wrong we need a system. But there was a lot better one formed before Jesus - Plato's republc. Let's do that. Serisouly. If it's better, why are we NOT doing it? How LONG ago was this system thought of? Have we De-Evolved? Are we THAT self consumed that some of us feel we should be held in higher reguards that other people? that's just depressing and stupid.

I have all of a sudden grown tired . . .

goodnight everyone.
Seriosuly though ONE GIRL I know?
Have you seen the way kids and teens talk to their parents and siblings?
It's just rediculas.

take care everyone
-Hank-

Nick man hanging out tomorrow? ARIGHT! Ron Burgandy!

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Back home	[Jul. 12th, 2005\|10:06 am]
Well, I arrived back home last month from the trip. Had to come back early. Bert, Jay, and I had a blast but we ran into so many damn problems. The big problem was, we got half way down florida and mom calls, "Theres a hurricane coming to were to guys are going." Greaaaaaaeeeeeettttttt. So our whole idea was ruined. Having fun was our priority though so we hit all the cool places we could. Vero beach was was cool but there was no beach! so why was it called vero beach??? because that was the name of their SHOPPING CENTER - which by the way just blowed. So then we went to Palm beach, definetly the best night of the trip. . . the ocean was right behind us and we just swam and kicked it, had a good dinner and sleep (finally! since we did drive a straight 21 somthing hours.) Good food good night. ASo then we were like lets go to miami so we did and IT SUCKED so we left. and went to Daytona beach which is apparently supposed to be freakin sweet. It wasn't. At all. It sucked. The best part was the crazy crack smoking bike rider that pedaled his way right into a car, but his spirit was not damaged and he kept singing. It was damn funny. After that we were like WTF? so we went way back north to Ohio to see our relatives, The Foxes. And they are just great people so we hung with Uncle Time, Aunt Weez, and Kate and it was so damn cool. A BRILLIANT time it was. The next morning we were on our way to Cedar Point which was a blast, and we got a really kick ass photo of us all. So all in all we had a good time, because just talking about funny stuff was sweet, but I am glad to be home (early). Well that's all, I have been dying to play guitar so i am gonna do that now. Take care everyone. -Hank-
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Anywho...

[Jun. 25th, 2005|10:30 pm]

[	How I'm feelin	\|	excited	]
[	Tunskies	\|	Cold play -Talk-	]

I have been incredibly busy lately. . .I have lost more sleep than I ever cared to and was basically sleeping through this entire night and didn't get to do some things. A little time to see jay and Jen. . as well as my family but other than that it has seriosuly just blown. And of coarse work being rediculas and giving me the most god aweful schedule 1 - 10 practically all week, so you know what that means. . .I'M CALLING IN! (one day this week) unless they change it cause we have 2 other leads that can close but I close all the nights and they have none. . . bullshit. I love when my hard work is taken for granted everyday it fills me with motivation *extreme sarcasm*. Anyways I am going to the keys really soon. . in about two weeks. It's going to be fucking sweet cause i am going with Bert and Jay. To be honest the only other person I would really want to go is Nick, cause he is an awesome friend. But work has detained him and he shall be missed. Nick. . .you the man. . . you the man baby. Bert, Jay, and Nick are my best friends (only speaking of guy friends cause Erin is freakin sweet) Anyways I have always wanted to go on vacation with bert cause he's kick-ass and Jay is an all around champ who's a great friend. So I can say i am really pumped to get away from it all and relax. I will miss Jen a lot! it'll be so strange not seeing her for about a week but she knows I'll be thinking about her a lot. Jay and I have created 3/4 songs so far they rock, we have two rockin songs, a slow one, and a POWERFUL ONE. We need a drummer still so if anyone out there is a drummer and/or has a drum set for sale. . do inform us.

take care everyone. . . . LESCH!!!
-Hank-

"I still can't seem to glide,
so I climb up and down,
and you visit so I'm on top,
but I can't love you,
and I drop,
though we've got each other,
I'm somewhere inbetween,"

tick boom boom boom tick boom boom boom tick

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[Jun. 10th, 2005|01:30 am]

[	How I'm feelin	\|	Amazed	]
[	Tunskies	\|	Cold Play -Fix You-	]

Through all of the lines and intercecting circles,
I never wondered which way to trace or color in,
I just bent everything out with my head,
and knew which decision was the right one to make,

And mistakes are nothing but taking and giving,
So we hurt others or ourselves,
the time exchanged creates pure experience,
and we become more who we are,

instead of what we're going to be,

All in these few, simple, true days,
Have we come to be are own before we die,
Think the words that we have had to say,
Only to remember the ones you live bye,

Ignorance is wonderful inside of innocence,

we fluctuate and question our thoughts, then deny,

Arrogance is a bite back not confidence,

So confused by a childs happiness,

Just let your inside mind and body complete,

Completely harmonize.

Through all of the lines and intercecting circles,
we hurt others and ourselves,

just bent everything out with your head,

and become more who you are,

take care everyone

-Hank-

Leaving for two weeks. . . please be careful everyone, but more importantly have a great time.

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For Shame!

[Apr. 20th, 2005|09:39 pm]

[	How I'm feelin	\|	thankful	]
[	Tunskies	\|	The Velvet Teen	]

its been a while. . let's see let's see. . . Went to some shows, hung out. Nick Jay and I have been having some hilarious times. It's been good. Jay and I have been rockin ouit. . i just got a new guitar and amp. . they are amazing. . . $2000 bucks gone for great cause. We came up with somthing I swear to god would relax anyone it's so cool. So hopefully we will get more into it on saturday since I am calling in. anyways I am done with this thing for a week or soo. . . i'll leave somthing though before I go.

-If everything was hand made-

take care everyone

-Hank-

Warriors seem to stay exactly where they are, how they are, forever.

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[Mar. 3rd, 2005|11:54 pm]

[	How I'm feelin	\|	Tied down	]
[	Tunskies	\|	Muse -Blackout- & Mars Volta - Pour another icepick -	]

Just slightly clicking away at your heels,................
there was my world just barely past tense,..............
to you, because it puts me there,......................
I can't see through light,............................
It waves around you to make me,......................

As if it half circles around so slowly,.............
But actually so quickly I jump ahead,..............
of you, because nows the moment,..................
When it leaves the sky,..........................
It just the right way this way,.................

My time, is your time to start clicking,.......~
The white ghost knows when I can see,.........~
So until tomorrow we chase him,..............~
until we switch,............................~
we could catch him,........................~

Just cooling us down with the earth,
Everything as it truly is perfect,
Doesn't it feel like mint,
this is how it feels,
just to be traced,

My time, is your time to start clicking,.......~
The white ghost knows when I can see,.........~
So until tomorrow we chase him,..............~
until we switch,............................~
we could catch him,........................~

Deeper underwater,........................~~~......~~~.....~~~~~
curved walls of light,.....................~~~~~.........~~~~
I want to remember,.....................~~~~~..~~~~~~.....~~~~~
what shape I am,..................................~~~~~......~~~~~

Hey everyone, hows everything going? Not to bad here. Just been hanging, thinking, playing guitar. You know. I have felt so strange lately. Good too, but often strange. I am so limited at the time. I just can't do some things anymore and it's really upsetting. But I guess I will have to get over it, or get it. I think I am gonna get it. Cause I want it.

take care everyone
-Hank-

Snap snap, twitch-click, snap snap twitch-click, snap snap twitch-click, crack crack crack. . .
...............................................Boom...................Boom
....................................................................grindinggrindinggrinding. .

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Just as I keep thinking on, I keep feelings better.	[Feb. 18th, 2005\|10:29 pm]
Lately Has been great, I got in touch with some kick ass friends I haven't seen in a while. . .Steve, Dave, Angelo. . .freakin kick ass. hwe hwe hwe hwai hwe. Good people. Jay and I have just had good luck, just classic things always happen to us. cigars, more cigars, and music. And Good deal man it shall continue. And of course, The Lesch (Jen) she is definetly and completely amazing. I don't think I could be happier. Never been so pleased with the people in my life right now. Jen I am so excited for the future. It feels amazing to always be what I say/said I am, what I want to be as a person - who I am. Sweet. Anywho, haven't seen Nick or Dan ina long time. . hope all is well guys. Anyways I have been writing a lot, it makes all my thoughts spill off of me and stain whatever I am thinking about. Whenever I think about stuff like it or actuall see it I feel better about which helps my overall outlook.Guitar is soming along and so is work. I need to take a few more classes and see whats going on. Jen's at a concert tonight - hope it was awesome and safe. Jay's at a snowboarding trip - kick ass man I will tty monday. Bert's palying Xenosaga - cool man and Nick. . . not sure should probably call him. take care everyone The Hank Mchen-GO!
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Just suttle	[Feb. 8th, 2005\|09:21 pm]
I dunno where to begin typing this entry. I don't even remember why I wanted to update. Just a good day so far. Work, called jen, hung out with the jay and outwitted some Puczkis addicts. Sickos. But ti was hilarious ok ok senario time. So Jay and I decide to buy a dozen puczkis. So we pull up into Krispey Cream and buy them - gorgeous. We are each eating one in the car. And this grizzly looking kid is RIGHT next to jay's car looking in at us. And he takes his last (huge) bite of his puczki and signals us to give him one. We declined Jay, "No!" Me, "You just had one!". They BRIBE us for them and we decline. They offer us a good amount of money for them, we thought about it. . .no. So We decide to bail. As we are going to pull out onto Gratiot. They start backing up in their car to stop us, but are far to late. As we waited to turn left onto gratiot (as they were planning to follow us) They started yelling at us. So Jay suggests, "Hey hey, wave one outside the windo." Of course I agreed. So I am waving it, and then just as we started taking off. I let out a little war cry and BAM! threw the puczkis into the ground. SPLAT it went, and went it splat. . . . . ??? Anywho. They screamed and followed us for a while they realiozed they were lost and turned back or somthing. The End Anywho's I am feeling pretty good. . . Jen gets out of work at ten so I wanna go see her after. Steve Keys called me today so that was cool, didn't get to hang out but soon enough. Nick, Jay, and I are going to java tomorrow night, so check it out. take care everyone -Hank-
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If I haven't been there. . .	[Jan. 31st, 2005\|08:46 pm]
I post this message as an apology for anyone I have not spent enough time with lately. I may not be going to college at the moment, but that does not mean I am not as busy as some of you. I am pretty busy. More so than I have ever been. This is no excuse to the time I threw away though. And to those who I missed: Nick, Dan, Bert, Jay, Jeff, Jen, Erin and Wayne I am very sorry. There are things I needed to do. They are done. I am sorry you guys and gals. Really. I have been planning my life out for the past couple days. This should not suggest that I won't do the crazy radom things I have always done, waterballooning (not a word it's cool), java, and more things. This summer I would like to go on a trip to florida with my closest friends, you know who you are. And A chicago trip with only one person - The Lesch. There are a few parts of my life I regret and they are only very recent, and it's only because I lost the time, and it was wrong. What I want to do with my life is simple, yet knowing this was it was so hard to figure out. The more I work the more I enjoy it. Because I know I can get somewhere, and that's to the point where i can take care of who I want to take care of for the rest of my life, and that's Jen. If kids are in our future, which I plan on, I want them to know what a good Christmas is, and to never have to be cold during their sleep in the winter, or too hot in the summer. and to be able to help my friends whenever they need it, in any way. My friends, who I owe my life to, Jay, Jeff, Nick, Dan, Erin, wayne and my brother bert - who is frickin cool. Thanks for the powerful teachings and morals you have helped me create and stick with. Tomorrow the Nick and I are going to the java, and hopefully Jay can come along. Just wanted to kick it a little and enjoy their company as I always do. This entry sounds really bootleg, but you guys seriously, I meant it to it's fullest meaning. I am so happy. thanks -Hank- BOM!
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[Jan. 9th, 2005|09:33 pm]

[	How I'm feelin	\|	calm	]
[	Tunskies	\|	Jimmy Eat World	]

Time waits only once,
We had our chance to stay still,
and we fled, but what for?

I'll never be fine,
Never ready to say I'm done,
with where I am,
or just when to let go,

Trying goes only skin deep,
Doing takes somthing in our soul,
Of all the things I never wrote,
the things for second place,
Everything I did I took with me,

Friends are never a lie,
If you know they're real,
and you're one back,

If we'd just reason,
Then there would be help,
Regret would be lost,
If we reasoned with ourselfs,

For those I love to keep,
A side we saved for each other
of all the unappreciated things,
the the things I waved right by,
You were never any of them,

When we wondered about this being "if",
We took for granted that, "this was it"
to be honest I was never unsure,
what damn fools we were,

We would have never got away,
with thinking everything through,
And swears and promised lost,
reguardless were somthing I had to do,

~Well I haven't written in a while, but I found somthign in this. . .

I will update on whats been going on soon,
but I am le tired.

take care everyone
-Hank-

I won't always love these selfish things. . . I won't always live. . .not stopping

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[Dec. 20th, 2004|03:24 pm]

[	How I'm feelin	\|	happy	]
[	Tunskies	\|	Sparta -Syncope-	]

lately I found out so many things. . .

Why I dream the way I do.
My friends are the way they are as well as myself.
The reason I have all the things I do, and know all the people I know as good or bad as I know them.

The reason I let some of you go is because that is what I felt was the best thing to do, and I still feel that way. This is always made out to be bad, or wrong or immoral. But those of you who really know me, know just as well that I willing decided to be the bad guy for good reasons. I am sorry that this cannot always be vice versa. I always question your priorities to myself, I mean no disrespect, there are just some things I can't seem to understand the way you do, and that's just how it is. No harm done. For the most part, I find most of you to be just awesome (and I use this word to it's true meaning). For a while when things weren't right, I thought the world was somthing that no one could fully understand except for whoever or whatever created it. Maybe even that thing changes their mind from time to time. Turns out I was/am right. But has proven me wrong in my own self so many time and ways. There is so much I want to explore and find out I can easily cry when it gets to me. Through comics, video games, my friends, the sword, myself and my family. I found out that what they gave me was somthing I could only keep as a secrets for so long. The thing I never see is how long I have left, but I don't care. I was blessed with somthing... I am not sure when, but I know why. And I know how. That's how I know god is so real (my version of him anyways). A friend of mine was blessed too, maybe him/her doesn't know what it is. But when you see them eye to eye, it becomes obvious, so very obvious.

will be continued anotherday. . .

~Hank~

Maybe I am heading for certain destruction,
Maybe it's all I never dared to do asking me for just one go.

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rediculas	[Dec. 15th, 2004\|12:47 pm]
I need to Call jeff Shock son and hang out. He is the man. Anyways yea I haven't updated in like. . .well forever. Yea. So whats up? nothing here really. . just kickin it with friends and jen. Going to hang with Nick and Jay later. . .maybe with john too. Ya know, after trying. . . cough cough WOAH. . . *while exhailing disgusting smelling smoke. Things seem funnier even when I am not high. I barely ever get high. but I definetly found more humor. Still haven't touched alchol though. That stuff is fucking stupif cause one. . . you don't remember anything you did, you can't control yourself or stop VERY bad things from happening, and most of all. . . it's dumb. At least do the smart thing and FEEL better than drunk, don't have a hangover the next morning, and well. . either way you are gonna smell. My dad is a heavy drinker and I learned from it. Unfortunetly. . i didn't have pot smoking parents and just said. . well i don't know what this does so i will try it. . .did try it. . and once in a great while. . . I'll do it with the guys. Which is dumb.. . .but MEH. No regrets. I am pretty fine with everything in life right now. . .just wonder what is happeneing to people i know or did know. Drowning themselves in their own crap instead of cleaning it up. C'mon, you don't need that shit. Nick man we gotta hang more often. I t seems like we never hang much. . work and all. But man lets hang more.. palys some games. . . poof it up. and I dunno eat some pizza. Crista. . we NEVER HANG ANYMORE. . WHAT IS THAT? SAME TO YOU DAN! and is everything alright man? i am here. . .you know it. anyways. . . ~Hank~ I know we don't talk. . .but i still don't like to hear that you're killing yourself. Appreciate everything got it?
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uhh yea

[Nov. 28th, 2004|11:19 am]

[	How I'm feelin	\|	creative	]
[	Tunskies	\|	At The Drive-In	]

Went to a kick ass Spart concert! Sparta sure did tear it up i was going nuts. Thank you Jen.

opening bands and how they played...

Sunshine - AWESOME way to see a new band. . .totally impressed and loved it. . .dispite the creepiness of the singer.

Copeland - Oh yea. . way better than their cd. . they ROCKED. . .very pleased. New cd March 22? i think

Further seems forever - TERRIBLE. . .WHAT A BORING PERFORMANCE. It was so depressing. . and the crowd agrees with me. . . terrible. Lets keep it off the stage eh boys?

still . . .Sparta was fucking amazing. . loved it.

Other than that not much else went on.

I saw dan and nick for a few. . i miss those guys. . fuck I wanna hang out :( and wheres John? and David? I missed hanging with them this weekend too. fuck.

Age 62. . .you're over

I felt for sure last night

If only you could see the stranger next to me. . .	[Nov. 8th, 2004\|03:34 pm]
"You promise you promised that you're done, but I can't tell you from the drug." Why are you lying to me? Why do I have to do that to be your friend? Why do I have to let you walk all over me? What's the point?......................You're nothing....................................... ....................who do we think we are?.................I'll be the lesser one for you.. ....You rip me off and I'm your friend................Do you know what honesty is?.......... ................................................I stick around to be slapped in the face.... ...How am I anything to you if you treat me like nothing?................no one will know... ....................................I want to move away..................................... take care everyone ~Hank~
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[Nov. 4th, 2004|01:34 am]

[	How I'm feelin	\|	thoughtful	]
[	Tunskies	\|	Jimmy Eat World -23-	]

If you have somthing to say to me, then say it. Stop dancing around it. Just say it.

take care everyone

~Hank~

I lived the way I have for a reason. I made promises I DON'T BREAK. I help whoever I can, whenever I can. However there are those who I have a problem with because they are NOT honest people.

2 comments|post comment

From here. . what now?

[Oct. 30th, 2004|02:14 am]

[	How I'm feelin	\|	curious	]
[	Tunskies	\|	Sparta -Syncope-	]

On the phone earlier today I was talking with somone. And we started talking about good and evil. Now me personaly, I am a humanist. All people must have been born good, or at least neutral (sp?). But some believe that some people were born evil. I can't belive this idea, I can understand where one is coming from but no one is just born evil. Right? They also seem to think that there is more bad than good in the world. Not me. The conversation got to the point where I was thinking, "Is this what people see the world as?" What the hell are things coming to when we hate the only place we have outside our mind? I love it here, I think for the majority it IS good and amazing. I can't look at humanity as a whole and shake my head or be ashamed or dissapointed in it. I can be proud. Money is a huge part of this world, it shouldn't be, but it is. I actually started getting water in my eyes thinking that. . . we don't appreciate anything, or we don't REALLY believe that good outweighs evil, I made sure to make my voice sound 'non-whiny' so they wouldn't know i was that effectred by the conversation. Am I really so naive to believe the world is good? that man kind is good? Being bad and good is a part of everyones life. We have done and experienced them both. Now I am told I have not gone through a lot of what others have. . .very true. But the same can be said vice versa. I don't believe in hell, theres no way there is a place reserved for people to suffer forever. That idea is garbage to me. I have been unfair to a few peple in the last few months. I can't forget things, I can't give 3rd, 4th, and 5th chances to people without thinking, "they may just lie to me again". . . but it is possible, "they may never lie to me again." I have noticed certain things make me feel uneasy, better, angry, happy sad. for no apparent reason. Like it is jogging some memory I don't personaly have. Am I a recarnation of somthing? someone? Or is it just that my motives, morals, and ideals are held VERY high in some aspects? So to speak of them as weak harms me. I dunno. It's weird. I sort of do believe that I am a recarnation somtimes. But it's hard. Maybe it's just part of somthing with me that is the recarnation, not me myself. Whatever it is can relate to my thoughts and that's why they stick around. Perhaps I can help them sove the questions they never ended up solving. . . because of not enough time in that life, or because they simply couldn't. I have thought to hard on this for tonight maybe lol. anyways, leave me some cool comments. thanks for your time. . .

~Hank~

[Oct. 26th, 2004|11:46 am]

[	How I'm feelin	\|	hyper	]
[	Tunskies	\|	A.F.I.	]

going to 3 concerts...

Minus The Bear - November 3rd

Sparta - November 21st

89X Stole Christmas - December somthing (I am only going for Jimmy Eat World as of now)

I have to go to guitar practice in an hour. SWEET

MAYBE have work today, I am gonna try and see if somone will work for me so I can go to a concert (if not. . .DAMNIT. . .but. . oh wells, a bigger pay check.)

Meh things are good.

Gonna see Erin this weekend. Hang out with the guys and jen too. you know.

~Hank~

[Oct. 20th, 2004|01:26 am]

[	How I'm feelin	\|	Oh my god. . .	]
[	Tunskies	\|	Jimmy Eat World	]

~But you didn’t~

My nerves say that’s ok,
And at once I feel the same,
I’ll never understand these things,
I’ll never say things I don’t mean,
But what were you thinking,
why didn’t you come clean,
You blame yourself all again,
for the conscience of them, save you

I just want you as ok,
If I could just kill him,
Quick wave tingle warmth,
Wake up, just yawn,

It was late and years were good,
I know I love you but what?
I’d like to be yours, I’d love it,
But a secret could make me,
You wanted something else it broke me,
Don’t be scared my favorite,
Wait for the right time,
you lost your first to something unfair,

I don’t think you choose,
Why did he choose, what he chose,
Why couldn’t he say, not this one, not this way,
not you,

I’ve never wanted loss,
This is so unfair,
Your heart should stop beating,
draw lines ways, I need out,
You say, just dirt that’s that,
In here you're not the same,
Wake up and say, ‘I’m beautiful’
Wake up and say, ‘That’s mine’
‘This is mine’

I am always here for you
Please tell me anyting cause I'll wanna call again and I will tty tomorrow.

~Hank~
Somebody prove I exist